Cultural Corner: April | Film Review of ‘The Farewell’
Following our last article on Sinophobia since Covid-19, we thought we’d go a bit lighter and recommend a very emotive but heart-warming film this month that highlights some interesting East-West cultural differences.
If you haven’t already seen the film, ‘The Farewell’, we’d definitely recommend it as an inside look at a Chinese family split by emigration. As Stella says, “I can vision it is a family story that happens every day in China. For Western audiences, it can be a good way to experience the cultural difference in the most important part of life.”
Directed by Lulu Wang, the film stars the rapper and actor Awkwafina as the sultry young New Yorker. Zhao Shuzhen plays her Nai Nai. (For those that don’t know Chinese familial names ‘Nai Nai’ is Chinese for a paternal grandmother). It’s a gentle look at family life – no car chases or murders so apologies for those of you who prefer a bigger thrill!
The story centres on Billi, the granddaughter, and Nai Nai, the dying matriarch of the family. Tensions arise in the family when the US-raised granddaughter feels the family should tell Nai Nai she is dying so she can say goodbye and get her things in order.
“Getting things in order when you know you are approaching death is such a Western idea,” Stella commented. “ If you know Chinese people, you would know that ‘Death’ is a very seldom talked topic in China. Older generations in China have always secretly prepared for that moment, they just would not say to the younger family members, they worried it would add them burden, both mentally and financially. Although it is bitter and sad, but it is also quite sweet if you think that the older generation are using their own way to protect their family member.”
The rest of the family cannot accept this and feel deeply that it is their duty to protect Nai Nai from the truth. As the film progresses you cannot help but wonder, in spite of the doctor’s purposeful filtering of the situation and the amending of medical records, if Nai Nai isn’t in on the whole thing anyway.
But the beauty of the film really stems from the closeness of Billi and her granny, despite the physical distance between them. Although the granddaughter’s behaviour and demeanour defy so many cultural expectations she is loved unconditionally by Nai Nai. I love the phone calls that check if Billi is wearing enough, the little ‘Sha haizi!’s (‘Stupid child’) affectionately punctuating Nai Nai’s instructional conversations with Billi and the discussions about the size of Billi’s ‘pigu’ (‘buttocks’ in Chinese).
And then there all the little glimpses of wider society which are an added joy: the slippers indoors, the feeding of a loved one with chopsticks, the moxibustion treatment, the slightly dodgy goings-on in the hotel. These details may be new for some of us but the family dynamics, tensions and connections are likely to be quite familiar.
It is very touching when you know although it might be unacceptable or bizarre to you, family are supporting each other in the way they were brought up!